Weaponized absence, now searchable.
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240 messages ready to professionally disappear on your behalf.
I am away from my desk and my inbox. I am away dealing with a temporary scheduling situation. If the espresso machine is making ominous noises, maybe that is between you and desti…
This is the polite version of me saying I am gone. I am away from my desk while the conference ecosystem attempts to inspire me. If the espresso machine is making ominous noises,…
This autoresponder confirms I have escaped my desk with confidence. I am currently absent and choosing not to over-explain it. If the espresso machine is making ominous noises, ma…
I am away from routine communication for a short period. I am using paid time off to stare at scenery and ignore notifications. If the espresso machine is making ominous noises, m…
I am out of the office, despite the optimism of this message thread. I am away for a routine absence and not monitoring email closely. If the espresso machine is making ominous no…
My chair is empty and somehow still more productive than I am. I am on vacation and committed to disappointing my inbox. If the espresso machine is making ominous noises, maybe th…
Congratulations, you reached me at the exact wrong moment. I am offline for a short period and letting that be enough information. If the espresso machine is making ominous noises…
This message confirms my absence and your continued access to patience. I am away collecting sunburn, questionable snacks, and plausible deniability. If the espresso machine is ma…
I am away from work and several fragile expectations. I am spending leave days nowhere near a laptop charger. If the espresso machine is making ominous noises, maybe that is betwe…
I am away from my desk and my inbox. I am away because the previous pace was illegal in several dimensions. If the espresso machine is making ominous noises, maybe that is between…
This is the polite version of me saying I am gone. I am away keeping a small person alive, which is somehow a full-time role. If the espresso machine is making ominous noises, may…
This autoresponder confirms I have escaped my desk with confidence. I am currently unavailable while I attempt to become a person again. If the espresso machine is making ominous…
I am out of the office, despite the optimism of this message thread. I am taking recovery time instead of pretending a calendar block fixes everything. If the espresso machine is…
This note confirms that I am not presently available. I am away at an event where everyone is networking with alarming sincerity. If the espresso machine is making ominous noises,…
Congratulations, you reached me at the exact wrong moment. I am out to address burnout before sarcasm becomes a medical event. If the espresso machine is making ominous noises, ma…
I am away from work and thriving irresponsibly. I am attending a conference and being professionally over-scheduled. If the espresso machine is making ominous noises, maybe that i…
I am currently unavailable, which feels like useful context for everyone. I am at an industry event and probably trapped in a breakout session. If the espresso machine is making o…
This is an automated confession that I have vanished. I am away speaking, listening, or pretending to enjoy panel discussions. If the espresso machine is making ominous noises, ma…
I am away from my desk and my inbox. I am away on medical leave and pretending soup is a strategy. If the espresso machine is making ominous noises, maybe that is between you and…
This is the polite version of me saying I am gone. I am out making memories instead of follow-up notes. If the espresso machine is making ominous noises, maybe that is between you…
This autoresponder confirms I have escaped my desk with confidence. I am resting and letting every notification fight for second place. If the espresso machine is making ominous n…
I have exited the building emotionally and physically. I am away from the office for a general and none-of-your-business absence. If the espresso machine is making ominous noises,…
I am out of the office, despite the optimism of this message thread. I am taking sick leave instead of spreading germs and resentment. If the espresso machine is making ominous no…
This note confirms that I am not presently available. I am away learning new leadership lessons from someone who cannot hold a spoon. If the espresso machine is making ominous noi…