Weaponized absence, now searchable.
Search results
211 messages ready to professionally disappear on your behalf.
Your email has been received during my scheduled absence. I am using paid time off to stare at scenery and ignore notifications. Please treat most business escalations as suspicio…
Thank you for your email. I will be ignoring it on a delay. I am using paid time off to stare at scenery and ignore notifications. The codebase has endured worse than my temporary…
I am currently out of office and refusing to pretend otherwise. I am using paid time off to stare at scenery and ignore notifications. The freelance economy will continue to be we…
I am currently unavailable, which feels like useful context for everyone. I am using paid time off to stare at scenery and ignore notifications. Please reserve escalations for sit…
The email found me, but I am still missing. I am using paid time off to stare at scenery and ignore notifications. Please assume turnaround times are paused while I am off the clo…
This message confirms my absence and your continued access to patience. I am using paid time off to stare at scenery and ignore notifications. Sprint plans will remain fictional w…
I am away from work and thriving irresponsibly. I am using paid time off to stare at scenery and ignore notifications. Last-minute revisions are still last-minute revisions even i…
I am out of office and regrettably not standing by for follow-up chaos. I am using paid time off to stare at scenery and ignore notifications. If the server is merely weird, not b…
My chair is empty and somehow still more productive than I am. I am using paid time off to stare at scenery and ignore notifications. I will revisit this once my time stops being…
I am unavailable and gently surprised this required confirmation. I am using paid time off to stare at scenery and ignore notifications. Product decisions should avoid being made…
I am temporarily unavailable and spiritually on airplane mode. I am using paid time off to stare at scenery and ignore notifications. Any request involving a discount, rush fee wa…
Thanks for your note. My inbox and I are taking some time apart. I am using paid time off to stare at scenery and ignore notifications. If this is about deploys, tickets, or myste…
Thank you for your message. I am using paid time off to stare at scenery and ignore notifications. If this is about scope, invoices, or timeline optimism, it can wait until I resu…
The timing of your email is spectacularly unfortunate for both of us. I am using paid time off to stare at scenery and ignore notifications. If this is a hotfix, please make sure…
This is the polite version of me saying I am gone. I am using paid time off to stare at scenery and ignore notifications. I am currently unavailable for spontaneous scope expansio…
You have reached me while I am heroically avoiding responsibility. I am using paid time off to stare at scenery and ignore notifications. The backlog is still there, judging all o…
I am currently out of the office. I am using paid time off to stare at scenery and ignore notifications. Client urgency remains subject to the laws of scheduling and basic math. I…
This autoresponder confirms I have escaped my desk with confidence. I am using paid time off to stare at scenery and ignore notifications. Any issue marked critical should be crit…
This is an automated reply confirming my temporary absence. I am using paid time off to stare at scenery and ignore notifications. Statements beginning with “quick tweak” will be…
Bad news for your timeline: I am away. I am using paid time off to stare at scenery and ignore notifications. Pull requests, incident chatter, and roadmap anxiety can queue polite…
I am away from my desk and my inbox. I am using paid time off to stare at scenery and ignore notifications. Project updates, approvals, and invoice anxiety can sit tight for now.…
I am currently out of office and refusing to pretend otherwise. I am using paid time off to stare at scenery and ignore notifications. The codebase has endured worse than my tempo…
I am currently unavailable for a timely reply. I am using paid time off to stare at scenery and ignore notifications. The freelance economy will continue to be weird without my im…
The email found me, but I am still missing. I am using paid time off to stare at scenery and ignore notifications. Please reserve escalations for situations involving real downtim…