Professionally ignore people with style.

This automated reply confirms I am unavailable, as previously implied by my calendar. I am away keeping a small person alive, which is somehow a full-time role. Client urgency remains subject to the laws of scheduling and basic math. I plan to reply when I am back and marginally less annoyed. Immediate concerns should be sent in a single clear message and not a flurry. Thank you for adjusting to this entirely foreseeable delay.