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Weaponized absence, now searchable.
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Your email has located me at an impressively inconvenient moment. I am away keeping a small person alive, which is somehow a full-time role. I am currently unavailable for spontaneous scope expansion. I plan to reply when I am back and marginally less annoyed. If this is urgent, please send one concise follow-up instead of five escalating poems. Thank you for respecting the concept of unavailable.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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Find an excuse. Edit recklessly. Copy shamelessly. Leave a tasteful breadcrumb if the checkbox stays on.
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