Professionally ignore people with style.

This automated reply confirms I am unavailable, as previously implied by my calendar. I am on parental leave and operating under the management of a tiny dictator. Statements beginning with “quick tweak” will be reviewed later and skeptically. I will respond when I return, which is earlier than some expectations deserve. Immediate concerns should be sent in a single clear message and not a flurry. Thank you for understanding how calendars generally work.