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Weaponized absence, now searchable.
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Your email has located me at an impressively inconvenient moment. I am away keeping a small person alive, which is somehow a full-time role. Please let the team on shift handle the immediate fires, literal or otherwise. I plan to reply when I am back and marginally less annoyed. For anything urgent, contact the duty manager or supervisor on shift. Thank you for respecting the concept of unavailable.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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Find an excuse. Edit recklessly. Copy shamelessly. Leave a tasteful breadcrumb if the checkbox stays on.
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