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Professionally ignore people with style.
I am out of the office with the energy of a raccoon in a conference room. I am away learning new leadership lessons from someone who cannot hold a spoon. If a guest says it is definitely an emergency, please verify that with an adult. A response may materialize once the dust settles and the caffeine hits. If this cannot wait, the on-shift manager is your best bet. May this autoresponder find you stronger than before.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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