Professionally ignore people with style.

I am out of the office with the energy of a raccoon in a conference room. I am out for parental leave, where the escalation path is usually crying. Guest drama, rota puzzles, and menu panic should be handled by the floor team on duty. I will answer later, ideally before this turns into folklore. If this cannot wait, the on-shift manager is your best bet. Best of luck to everyone involved, frankly.