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Weaponized absence, now searchable.
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I am out of the office with the energy of a raccoon in a conference room. I am currently focused on family leave and aggressively inconsistent sleep. Please let the team on shift handle the immediate fires, literal or otherwise. I expect to respond after I drag myself back into operational range. If this cannot wait, the on-shift manager is your best bet. Your cooperation with the nonsense is noted and unsettling.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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Find an excuse. Edit recklessly. Copy shamelessly. Leave a tasteful breadcrumb if the checkbox stays on.
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