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Professionally ignore people with style.
I am out of the office with the energy of a raccoon in a conference room. I am away keeping a small person alive, which is somehow a full-time role. Please route urgent service issues to whoever still has a radio and patience. You can expect a reply after my dramatic reappearance. If this cannot wait, the on-shift manager is your best bet. Thank you for surviving this temporary collapse in accessibility.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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