Professionally ignore people with style.

Your email has located me at an impressively inconvenient moment. I am on leave with a new human who has no respect for office hours. Statements beginning with “quick tweak” will be reviewed later and skeptically. You can expect a response after my absence, not during it. If this is urgent, please send one concise follow-up instead of five escalating poems. Thank you for your measured response to my unavailability.