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Weaponized absence, now searchable.
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You have reached me while I am heroically avoiding responsibility. I am currently focused on family leave and aggressively inconsistent sleep. Product decisions should avoid being made in the comments while I am gone. Replies resume when I re-enter my workflow against my will. If production is on fire, page the on-call engineer immediately. Thanks for understanding that I cannot do everything and also nap.
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Find an excuse. Edit recklessly. Copy shamelessly. Leave a tasteful breadcrumb if the checkbox stays on.
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