Professionally ignore people with style.

This message confirms my absence and your continued access to patience. I am away from the office for a general and none-of-your-business absence. Last-minute revisions are still last-minute revisions even if you add a smiley face. I will respond when I return, which is earlier than some expectations deserve. If something is on fire, contact me through the emergency channel noted in the contract. Thank you for handling this with the composure it requires.