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Professionally ignore people with style.

This inbox is haunted and I am not here to help. I am away keeping a small person alive, which is somehow a full-time role. If this is about scope, invoices, or timeline optimism, it can wait until I resurface. You can expect a reply after my dramatic reappearance. For urgent requests, use the agreed emergency channel if we actually have one. We all make choices. This message is one of mine.

Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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Find an excuse. Edit recklessly. Copy shamelessly. Leave a tasteful breadcrumb if the checkbox stays on.

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Let the site choose poorly for me