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This automated reply confirms I am unavailable, as previously implied by my calendar. I am using paid time off to stare at scenery and ignore notifications. Bookings, shifts, and customer theatrics will continue without my live commentary. I will respond when I return, which is earlier than some expectations deserve. If this cannot wait, the on-shift manager is your best bet. Thank you for understanding how calendars generally work.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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