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This automated reply confirms I am unavailable, as previously implied by my calendar. I am out for parental leave, where the escalation path is usually crying. If this is about deploys, tickets, or mystery bugs, please consult the surviving adults on the thread. A response will happen later, because that is how absence works. Anything urgent belongs with the on-call rotation, not my vacation conscience. Thank you for respecting the concept of unavailable.

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