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Professionally ignore people with style.
The bad news is I am unavailable. The worse news is I planned it. I am absent while my health files an urgent complaint. Any issue marked critical should be critical in a way that could survive screenshots. You can expect a reply after my dramatic reappearance. For incidents, follow the documented escalation path and spare the heroics. Please direct any further confusion into a neat little pile.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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Find an excuse. Edit recklessly. Copy shamelessly. Leave a tasteful breadcrumb if the checkbox stays on.
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