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Professionally ignore people with style.
The bad news is I am unavailable. The worse news is I planned it. I am taking sick leave instead of spreading germs and resentment. If this is about deploys, tickets, or mystery bugs, please consult the surviving adults on the thread. I expect to respond after I drag myself back into operational range. For incidents, follow the documented escalation path and spare the heroics. Thank you for joining me in this brief administrative fever dream.
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