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Professionally ignore people with style.
My chair is empty and somehow still more productive than I am. I am away pretending my calendar is a legal document. Pull requests, incident chatter, and roadmap anxiety can queue politely. I will circle back after my absence and at least two coffees. Urgent platform issues should be routed through the documented runbook. Thank you for accepting this as your plot twist.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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