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Professionally ignore people with style.

If you were hoping for a rapid reply, the universe has other material. I am unavailable for a short stretch and have made peace with that. Please let the team on shift handle the immediate fires, literal or otherwise. I plan to answer later, assuming the universe keeps me on the payroll. For immediate assistance, speak with the shift supervisor. Your patience is doing dangerous heavy lifting right now.

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Find an excuse. Edit recklessly. Copy shamelessly. Leave a tasteful breadcrumb if the checkbox stays on.

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