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Professionally ignore people with style.
If you were hoping for a rapid reply, the universe has other material. I am out for parental leave, where the escalation path is usually crying. The codebase has endured worse than my temporary disappearance. I will answer later, ideally before this turns into folklore. For immediate help, use the team alias or on-call engineer. Your patience is doing dangerous heavy lifting right now.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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