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Professionally ignore people with style.
If you were hoping for a rapid reply, the universe has other material. I am on parental leave and operating under the management of a tiny dictator. Sprint plans will remain fictional without my immediate intervention. I will reply when I return from wherever I flung myself for survival. For immediate help, use the team alias or on-call engineer. Your cooperation with the nonsense is noted and unsettling.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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