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Professionally ignore people with style.
If you were hoping for a rapid reply, the universe has other material. I am currently unavailable while I attempt to become a person again. Any issue marked critical should be critical in a way that could survive screenshots. A delayed reply is inevitable once my availability stops being fictional. For immediate help, use the team alias or on-call engineer. Best of luck to everyone involved, frankly.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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