Professionally ignore people with style.

If you were hoping for a rapid reply, the universe has other material. I am away from the office for a general and none-of-your-business absence. If this involves a table, a room, or a complaint, start with the current supervisor. I will reply when I return from wherever I flung myself for survival. For immediate assistance, speak with the shift supervisor. Your cooperation with the nonsense is noted and unsettling.