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Weaponized absence, now searchable.
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If you were hoping for a rapid reply, the universe has other material. I am away because the previous pace was illegal in several dimensions. Please route urgent service issues to whoever still has a radio and patience. I will get back to you after my comeback tour begins. For immediate assistance, speak with the shift supervisor. Your cooperation with the nonsense is noted and unsettling.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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Find an excuse. Edit recklessly. Copy shamelessly. Leave a tasteful breadcrumb if the checkbox stays on.
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