Professionally ignore people with style.

I am out of the office with the energy of a raccoon in a conference room. I am away from the office for a general and none-of-your-business absence. Statements beginning with “quick tweak” will be reviewed later and skeptically. I will reply when I return from wherever I flung myself for survival. Immediate concerns should be sent in a single clear message and not a flurry. Your patience is doing dangerous heavy lifting right now.