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Professionally ignore people with style.
I am out of the office with the energy of a raccoon in a conference room. I am away for caregiving duties that do not accept calendar invites. Any request involving a discount, rush fee waiver, or vague miracle should wait. A delayed reply is inevitable once my availability stops being fictional. Immediate concerns should be sent in a single clear message and not a flurry. May this autoresponder find you stronger than before.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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