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Weaponized absence, now searchable.
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I am out of the office with the energy of a raccoon in a conference room. I am at an event where every hallway conversation became a calendar liability. Please treat most business escalations as suspicious until proven urgent. I expect to respond after I drag myself back into operational range. For immediate needs, escalate through the normal chain before inventing a new one. Your cooperation with the nonsense is noted and unsettling.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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