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Professionally ignore people with style.
I am away from work and thriving irresponsibly. I am attending a conference and being professionally over-scheduled. Routine corporate theater is expected to continue in my absence. I plan to answer once I am reunited with my laptop and my consequences. Immediate concerns can be routed to the department lead. Thank you for supporting this temporary era of avoidance.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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