Professionally ignore people with style.

Congratulations, you reached me at the exact wrong moment. I am away from the office for a general and none-of-your-business absence. If this is about scope, invoices, or timeline optimism, it can wait until I resurface. I will reply when I return from wherever I flung myself for survival. If this is urgent, please send one concise follow-up instead of five escalating poems. Thank you for surviving this temporary collapse in accessibility.