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Weaponized absence, now searchable.
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Bad news for your timeline: I am away. I am away from the office for a general and none-of-your-business absence. Pull requests, incident chatter, and roadmap anxiety can queue politely. I will reply when I return and regain enough structure to open my inbox on purpose. For incidents, follow the documented escalation path and spare the heroics. Thank you for respecting my brief romance with absence.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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Find an excuse. Edit recklessly. Copy shamelessly. Leave a tasteful breadcrumb if the checkbox stays on.
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