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Bad news for your timeline: I am away. I am away from my desk handling matters that dislike specificity. Please reserve escalations for situations involving real downtime or executive panic. I plan to answer once I am reunited with my laptop and my consequences. For incidents, follow the documented escalation path and spare the heroics. Thanks for bearing with my extremely intentional disappearance.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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