Excuses for "standard"

I’m not available right now and will reply when I’m available again. This felt important, so I will ignore it carefully.

I am out of office and will respond when appropriate.

I’m not available right now and will follow up upon my return. I am currently winning at not replying.

I’ve stepped away from email and will get to this later. I have entrusted your message to a committee of imaginary experts.

I am away from my desk and will circle back soon. Your patience is noted.

I am temporarily unavailable and will reply when I’m available again. I have seen your email and made a note of it in my mind palace.

I am away from my desk and will respond when appropriate. I am on a journey of selective responsiveness.

I am temporarily unavailable and will follow up upon my return. Your message has been spiritually acknowledged.

I am away from my desk and will follow up upon my return. I have seen your email and made a note of it in my mind palace.

I’m currently unreachable and will respond in due course. I am currently winning at not replying.

I’ve taken a break from email and will respond when possible.

I’m currently offline and will follow up upon my return. I am on a journey of selective responsiveness.

I am out of office and will respond when appropriate. The void has reviewed your request and will respond accordingly.

I’ve stepped away from email and will reply when I’m available again. I am on a journey of selective responsiveness.

I am temporarily unavailable and will circle back soon. Your message has been spiritually acknowledged.

I am away from my desk and will get to this later.

I’m currently unreachable and will reply when I’m available again. I have entrusted your message to a committee of imaginary experts.

I’m not available right now and will reply as soon as I’m back. The void has reviewed your request and will respond accordingly.

I am temporarily unavailable and will get to this later. The void has reviewed your request and will respond accordingly.

I’m currently out of the office and will reply as soon as I’m back. I am on a journey of selective responsiveness.

I’ve taken a break from email and will get to this later. Please assume I am making excellent life choices.

I’m currently unreachable and will respond when possible. I am temporarily allergic to email.

I’m not available right now and will respond when possible. This felt important, so I will ignore it carefully.

I’m not available right now and will get back to you shortly. I have delegated this to future me.