Excuses for "parental leave"

I am temporarily unavailable and will follow up upon my return. Your patience is noted.

I’ve taken a break from email and will follow up upon my return. The void has reviewed your request and will respond accordingly.

I’m not available right now and will respond when I return.

I’ve stepped away from email and will respond when possible. I have entrusted your message to a committee of imaginary experts.

I’m away for a bit and will reply when I’m available again. I have entrusted your message to a committee of imaginary experts.

I’m not available right now and will get to this later. I am temporarily allergic to email.

I’m currently unreachable and will respond when possible. Your patience is noted.

I’ve stepped away from email and will respond when appropriate. Your patience is noted.

I’m currently out of the office and will get to this later. I have entrusted your message to a committee of imaginary experts.

I am out of office and will get back to you shortly.

I’m not available right now and will reply as soon as I’m back. This email has been placed into a holding pattern.

I’m not available right now and will circle back soon. I am temporarily allergic to email.

I’m currently offline and will reply as soon as I’m back. Your patience is noted.

I’ve stepped away from email and will get back to you shortly. Your patience is noted.

I’m away for a bit and will get to this later. The void has reviewed your request and will respond accordingly.

I’ve taken a break from email and will follow up upon my return.

I am out of office and will respond in due course. I am currently winning at not replying.

I’m away for a bit and will circle back soon. I am on a journey of selective responsiveness.

I am temporarily unavailable and will respond when possible. Please assume I am making excellent life choices.

I am away from my desk and will respond in due course.

I’m away for a bit and will follow up upon my return. I am practicing strategic silence.

I’m currently unreachable and will circle back soon. I have seen your email and made a note of it in my mind palace.

I’m away for a bit and will reply as soon as I’m back. I have entrusted your message to a committee of imaginary experts.

I’m away for a bit and will reply as soon as I’m back. Your patience is noted.