Excuses for "parental leave"

I’m currently out of the office and will circle back soon. I am on a journey of selective responsiveness.

I’m not available right now and will reply as soon as I’m back. I am practicing strategic silence.

I’m currently unreachable and will follow up upon my return.

I’ve taken a break from email and will respond when possible. I have delegated this to future me.

I’m currently offline and will reply as soon as I’m back. This email has been placed into a holding pattern.

I am away from my desk and will respond when possible. This email has been placed into a holding pattern.

I’m currently unreachable and will respond in due course. The void has reviewed your request and will respond accordingly.

I am temporarily unavailable and will reply when I’m available again. The void has reviewed your request and will respond accordingly.

I am temporarily unavailable and will respond in due course. Your patience is noted.

I’m currently out of the office and will reply when I’m available again. I am currently winning at not replying.

I’m not available right now and will follow up upon my return. I am temporarily allergic to email.

I’m currently unreachable and will follow up upon my return. I have entrusted your message to a committee of imaginary experts.

I am out of office and will reply when I’m available again.

I’m away for a bit and will get to this later. Your patience is noted.

I’m not available right now and will reply when I’m available again. I am practicing strategic silence.

I’m currently out of the office and will get back to you shortly. I have entrusted your message to a committee of imaginary experts.

I am away from my desk and will respond when possible. Your patience is noted.

I’ve taken a break from email and will get to this later. I am currently winning at not replying.

I’ve taken a break from email and will circle back soon. I have delegated this to future me.

I am out of office and will reply as soon as I’m back.

I am away from my desk and will respond in due course. Please assume I am making excellent life choices.

I’m currently out of the office and will follow up upon my return. Your patience is noted.

I am out of office and will get to this later. This felt important, so I will ignore it carefully.

I’m currently unreachable and will get back to you shortly. Your patience is noted.