Excuses for "parental leave"

I’ve left the office and will reconnect when I return.

I’m currently elsewhere and will respond when I return. I am no longer bound by email.

I’m offline for a while and will respond when I return. Your message will be handled accordingly.

I’m temporarily unavailable and will follow up shortly. I have acknowledged your message internally.

I’m offline for a while and will respond when I can. I am actively not thinking about this.

I’ve taken time away from email and will reply once I’m back. Your message will be handled accordingly.

I am out of office at the moment and will respond when I can. I am currently prioritizing not replying.

I am out of office and will follow up upon my return. I am on a journey of selective responsiveness.

I am out of office and will respond when possible. I have entrusted your message to a committee of imaginary experts.

I’m currently offline and will respond when appropriate. I am temporarily allergic to email.

I’m currently unreachable and will get to this later. Please assume I am making excellent life choices.

I’m not available right now and will circle back soon.

I’ve taken a break from email and will respond when possible. I am currently winning at not replying.

I am away from my desk and will reply when I’m available again. I have seen your email and made a note of it in my mind palace.

I’m away for a bit and will reply when I’m available again. This email has been placed into a holding pattern.

I’m currently unreachable and will circle back soon. The void has reviewed your request and will respond accordingly.

I’m not available right now and will get to this later. I have entrusted your message to a committee of imaginary experts.

I am out of office and will respond when appropriate.

I’ve stepped away from email and will get to this later. I have entrusted your message to a committee of imaginary experts.

I’ve stepped away from email and will reply when I’m available again. I am on a journey of selective responsiveness.

I am away from my desk and will get to this later.

I’m currently out of the office and will reply as soon as I’m back. I am on a journey of selective responsiveness.

I’m not available right now and will respond when possible. I am temporarily allergic to email.

I am temporarily unavailable and will respond when I return. I have entrusted your message to a committee of imaginary experts.