Excuses for "general-absence"

I’ve taken a break from email and will respond when I return. Your message has been spiritually acknowledged.

I’m currently unreachable and will reply when I’m available again. The void has reviewed your request and will respond accordingly.

I’m currently offline and will reply when I’m available again. I have delegated this to future me.

I’m currently unreachable and will respond when possible.

I am away from my desk and will reply as soon as I’m back. I am on a journey of selective responsiveness.

I am out of office and will get to this later. I am currently winning at not replying.

I’m not available right now and will circle back soon. I have entrusted your message to a committee of imaginary experts.

I’ve taken a break from email and will respond in due course. I have seen your email and made a note of it in my mind palace.

I am away from my desk and will respond when possible. I am on a journey of selective responsiveness.

I’m currently offline and will circle back soon. Your patience is noted.

I am out of office and will respond when possible. I am temporarily allergic to email.

I am away from my desk and will reply when I’m available again. I am on a journey of selective responsiveness.

I’m currently offline and will circle back soon. I have entrusted your message to a committee of imaginary experts.

I am out of office and will reply when I’m available again. This felt important, so I will ignore it carefully.

I am temporarily unavailable and will respond when possible. I have seen your email and made a note of it in my mind palace.

I am temporarily unavailable and will get to this later. I am temporarily allergic to email.

I’m currently out of the office and will respond when appropriate. I have seen your email and made a note of it in my mind palace.

I’m currently offline and will follow up upon my return. Your patience is noted.

I’m currently out of the office and will respond when possible. Your patience is noted.

I am temporarily unavailable and will respond when possible. Your patience is noted.

I’m currently out of the office and will get to this later. Please assume I am making excellent life choices.

I’m not available right now and will respond in due course. Your patience is noted.

I’m currently out of the office and will reply as soon as I’m back. I have entrusted your message to a committee of imaginary experts.

I’ve taken a break from email and will circle back soon.