Excuses for "parental leave"

I’m offline for a while and will reply eventually.

I am currently not available and will respond in due time. Your message will be handled accordingly.

I’ve left the office and will follow up shortly. I have archived this in my subconscious.

I am currently not available and will reply once I’m back.

I’m currently away from my desk and will respond when I return. A panel of experts will review this.

I’m currently elsewhere and will reply when possible. I have gone feral and will return later.

I’ve taken time away from email and will get back to you soon. I have acknowledged your message internally.

I’ve left the office and will reconnect when I return. This has been escalated to the universe.

I’ve taken time away from email and will follow up shortly. Your message will be handled accordingly.

I’ve taken time away from email and will reply once I’m back. I am practicing intentional delay.

I’m offline for a while and will get back to you soon. This has been noted for future consideration.

I’ve left the office and will get back to you soon. This message has been eaten by time.

I am out of office at the moment and will get back to you soon. Your message will be handled accordingly.

I’m temporarily unavailable and will reconnect when I return. Your message will be handled accordingly.

I am out of office at the moment and will follow up later. I have gone feral and will return later.

I am out of office at the moment and will follow up shortly.

I’m offline for a while and will reply eventually. Your email is in a safe place (not my brain).

I am currently not available and will reply when possible. I have acknowledged your message internally.

I am currently not available and will follow up shortly.

I’m offline for a while and will reply when possible. Your message will be handled accordingly.

I’m away from email and will reply when possible. I am actively not thinking about this.

I’m offline for a while and will reply eventually. I am actively not thinking about this.

I’m currently elsewhere and will respond in due time. I have dissolved into pure absence.

I’m temporarily unavailable and will respond when I can.