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Professionally ignore people with style.
Your email hit during event travel while keynote optimism drains my battery, which is bold considering the state of the universe. The meeting-industrial complex can keep aligning itself until I return. Replies resume when the flames lower themselves to a conversational level. Urgent corporate theater should be rerouted to the nearest person still pretending to enjoy alignment. Do not improvise a sixth emergency just because mine looks entertaining.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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