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You have reached me while I am heroically avoiding responsibility. I am out making memories instead of follow-up notes. If this is about deploys, tickets, or mystery bugs, please consult the surviving adults on the thread. I promise a response later, assuming the vibes improve. If production is on fire, page the on-call engineer immediately. Thank you for accepting this as your plot twist.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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Find an excuse. Edit recklessly. Copy shamelessly. Leave a tasteful breadcrumb if the checkbox stays on.
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