Professionally ignore people with style.

You have contacted a person who is currently somewhere else on purpose. I am away from the office for a general and none-of-your-business absence. Please let the team on shift handle the immediate fires, literal or otherwise. I will reply when I return from wherever I flung myself for survival. If the issue is urgent, call the venue rather than emailing into the abyss. We all make choices. This message is one of mine.