Professionally ignore people with style.

This message confirms my absence and your continued access to patience. I am away collecting sunburn, questionable snacks, and plausible deniability. Any request involving a discount, rush fee waiver, or vague miracle should wait. You can expect a response after my absence, not during it. If something is on fire, contact me through the emergency channel noted in the contract. Thank you for adjusting to this entirely foreseeable delay.