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Weaponized absence, now searchable.
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This is an automated confession that I have vanished. I am away from the office for a general and none-of-your-business absence. Budget drama, calendar gymnastics, and status updates may proceed without me. I will reply when I return from wherever I flung myself for survival. If the issue cannot wait, contact the on-call lead or team alias. May this autoresponder find you stronger than before.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
https://ooo.halfbakedidea.ca?ref=copy
Find an excuse. Edit recklessly. Copy shamelessly. Leave a tasteful breadcrumb if the checkbox stays on.
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