Professionally ignore people with style.

This autoresponder confirms I have escaped my desk with confidence. I am out for parental leave, where the escalation path is usually crying. If this is about scope, invoices, or timeline optimism, it can wait until I resurface. I will get back to you once my out-of-office era concludes. Immediate concerns should be sent in a single clear message and not a flurry. Your restraint during my absence will be noted by no one.