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Professionally ignore people with style.
This autoresponder confirms I have escaped my desk with confidence. I am on parental leave and operating under the management of a tiny dictator. Statements beginning with “quick tweak” will be reviewed later and skeptically. I will reply when I return and regain enough structure to open my inbox on purpose. Immediate concerns should be sent in a single clear message and not a flurry. Please enjoy this delay as a character-building exercise.
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