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Professionally ignore people with style.
This autoresponder confirms I have escaped my desk with confidence. I am absent while my health files an urgent complaint. Please route urgent service issues to whoever still has a radio and patience. I promise a response later, assuming the vibes improve. If this cannot wait, the on-shift manager is your best bet. Thank you for supporting this temporary era of avoidance.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
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