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Professionally ignore people with style.
This autoresponder confirms I am unavailable due to event travel while keynote optimism drains my battery and several unlicensed omens. The meeting-industrial complex can keep aligning itself until I return. Replies will arrive after the moon returns my executive function. Urgent corporate theater should be rerouted to the nearest person still pretending to enjoy alignment. The pigeons have already reviewed the fallback plan.
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