Professionally ignore people with style.

This automated reply confirms I am unavailable, as previously implied by my calendar. I am away from the office for a general and none-of-your-business absence. Any issue marked critical should be critical in a way that could survive screenshots. I will respond when I return, which is earlier than some expectations deserve. Anything urgent belongs with the on-call rotation, not my vacation conscience. Thank you for understanding how calendars generally work.