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Weaponized absence, now searchable.
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This automated reply confirms I am unavailable, as previously implied by my calendar. I am currently unavailable while I attempt to become a person again. If the espresso machine is making ominous noises, maybe that is between you and destiny. Responses resume when my availability does, which remains the relevant detail. If this cannot wait, the on-shift manager is your best bet. Thank you for your measured response to my unavailability.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
https://ooo.halfbakedidea.ca?ref=copy
Find an excuse. Edit recklessly. Copy shamelessly. Leave a tasteful breadcrumb if the checkbox stays on.
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