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The bad news is I am unavailable. The worse news is I planned it. I am away collecting sunburn, questionable snacks, and plausible deniability. Please assume turnaround times are paused while I am off the clock on purpose. You will hear from me after I re-enter the building and the timeline. If the matter truly cannot wait, text the approved urgent contact number. Thank you for joining me in this brief administrative fever dream.
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